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Me dismissing Lion Fund coffee chats like they're beneath me

I once sat on a bench outside John Jay for so long, a squirrel started using me as shade. I think I need new friends.

I told you all black was slimming!

Me when club apps open and I realize I’m still a sophomore

That dog's got more joy than you'll ever feel.

Y'all are a group therapy session for failed comedians.

When your dog’s kisses are the only affection you get.

Seeing Columbia men's list of waitlists is a horror movie.

When you realize adulting was a trap.

You're like a TikTok trend that should've stayed dead.

Proof that caffeine isn’t working anymore.

Jesus grabbing my grades like Dodge gym grab mats.

Influencers: Posing with a chain that screams 'brand deal'.

Why does John look like he just googled 'how to prank God'?

Students evacuated by the John Jay alarm realizing it's a drill

Is the snowman the next professor for Core Curriculum?

Cowgirl vibes, but your life is all saddle and no ride.

freshman giving their first campus tour in January like

When the flags behind you are more engaged than your audience.

You look like you raided a toddler's dress-up box.

Existentialism: even a toy whale questions its purpose in soap.

When your professor calls on you, and you know nothing.

You look like you just realized dogs are better friends.

Emperor Palpatine plotting chaos like midterms never ending.