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When you finally get a date on Tinder and they actually look like their profile picture.

This pup is flexing harder than your Instagram feed.

me trying to register on SSOL and watching classes vanish

This monkey lowkey doing a better job at life than you.

That wink's more rehearsed than my last Tinder bio.

Students hyping the AEPi party like it's Coachella

Bro, if you keep celebrating like that, you’ll need a life coach to help you come down.

When your clothes are louder than your jokes.

Just found out my dogecoin doubled.

Working for pizza? At least it’s not a total waste.

Group bonding day? More like 'awkward silence' hour.

Cat's Eyes Are The Poke Science Kids Of Zoom Calls.

Is this a battle or a family reunion fashion show?

When you see your Uber fare surge.

Just another day being more photogenic than your selfies.

me doing last-ditch calc like I'm negotiating with the universe

When your bestie is plotting while you're just trying to figure out dinner.

You lean in so much, I'm surprised you didn't fall in!

That smile says 'I'm here to entertain' but you just stressed me out.

This is me embracing low stakes anarchy

Freshmen when accused of spreading the freshman flu

When your outfit screams 'help' while you act like a star.

"was": "His best friend telling him she reread his 'see you around' text 17 times.",

Curiosity killed the cat, but here you are, still nosy.