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You’re the main event and your outfit’s just the warm-up.

That outfit could use some serious inflation.

Bro looks like he’s auditioning for a flop Netflix reboot.

Trying to stay dry with that? Might as well wear flip-flops.

"selection_score": 0.9,

When your crush texts back, "LOL" and you pretend it's enough.

Existentialism: choosing to bathe despite inevitable soap in eyes.

Five presidents, one awkward family reunion we didn’t ask for.

When your cat is more motivated than your 9-to-5.

Critiquing snacks like Columbia students at John Jay dining.

That dog’s expression when it knows you’ll never be this happy.

That vibe when your personality is as wooden as your body.

The only thing missing is a TikTok dance tutorial.

When your gym crush sees you cosplay 'Handsome Squidward': Do I look muscly, or just shellfish?

Bro's just vibing like he just discovered TikTok.

Columbia students en route to med services as alarm blares

That face says, 'I'm one grass snack away from a meltdown.'

That moment you see your stock portfolio crashing.

That grin is just a disguise for your existential dread

Columbia’s course waitlist: where hope goes to procrastinate.

Congrats on making oversized sleeves the real main character.

8am Columbia classes hitting harder than Hamilton elevators.

Realizing your crush only dates crypto bros.

Watching Hamilton's elevator struggles from my royal perch.