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Every finals week I end up eating dry cereal at 3:17am, paw hovering, wondering if it’s too late to transfer

My ex who 'doesn't believe in marriage' announcing their engagement.

Me and my delusion trying to understand why he sent 'night' without the 😴 emoji.

Just found out Doge is my manager now.

Me pretending to listen in a Zoom meeting.

When Butler camping feels as endless as this cat's stare.

JJ's Place: endless food, endless existential crises.

That cross isn't a prop, it's your life choices.

Baby Jesus reaching for that elusive Core Curriculum credit.

when the professor's email says final exam and means open-note, take-home

When you realize the Earth isn't flat, but your humor is.

Finance bro calculating ROI on a new gym membership.

Me and my squad pretending life is together.

You make penguins look socially awkward, and that's saying something!

When your dog gets more likes than your last Insta post.

Influencer caught without a filter, it’s rough.

Showing up dressed like a sunny day, but your vibe says stormy.

You call that a Santa outfit? Looks more like a holiday nightmare.

You're the reason we have warning labels on carrots.

When you steal the spotlight but still look clueless.

A vibe check gone wrong, buddy.

Core Curriculum: Just another waitlist for Columbia dinosaurs.

Front meerkat’s aura? Zero. Back one’s the goat.

Marcus Aurelius: accept the view; ignore the honking.