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Me when the water bottle guy lands a perfect flip

I once spent 3 hours in Butler, left with nothing but tears and a half-eaten granola bar

When your boss asks you to 'act professional.'

Your weasel's face is saying, "Help, I'm a hostage!"

Rocking a bow tie like it’s hiding a bad hair day.

I keep the ZYN and Coors Light on my desk so my mom knows I’m making friends.

That smile: seeing a Columbia hot guy at your worst.

When you find the perfect angle for a selfie.

Cypress trees trying to flex? Sis, they still don’t have a glow-up.

That moment when midterms become your only NSOP friends.

When someone claims a whole Butler table with one notebook

Freshmen when accused of spreading the freshman flu

Plato would appreciate: shadows now labeled 'AI GENERATED.'

Me when I'm shamed for using the Hamilton elevator

It's a standoff over who steals the last slice - spoiler alert, it’s neither.

When your dog gets more attention than you, and you start barking back.

Realizing you'll never get off the waitlist for Death Row Records.

When you realize life won't transform back to normal.

Your face says 'chef' but your soul says 'nap.'

Is that a grin or just a snack stuck in your teeth?

Horse is just one existential crisis away from a breakdown.

That face when your bank account's too real for comfort.

Sisyphus approves: same bath, eternal repetition, slightly cuter.

Columbia dates: Waitlisted for everything, even romance.