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Student: 'Can I get an extension?' Syllabus: 'No late work.' Professor's face: utterly serious, not joking.

That face you make waiting for CANNONS fan page posts.

That leap is how I feel when I finish a bag of chips.

Captain of the friend zone, leading a militia of loneliness.

Smiling whale? Sus. Drowning childhood, cooked.

You’re the reason ‘easy A’ is just a myth.

When even a dog can jump higher than your self-esteem.

The real competition is who can make the most awkward silence.

Me realizing I hit 'Reply All' in the email.

Pretending to enjoy Christmas parties like a true introvert.

Bro, just because you look deep doesn't mean you are.

"was": "Me opening his Venmo feed for clues and the me who spent $80k on a Master's degree.",

When you realize you peaked in the camel contest.

When you're trying to be enchanting but just look confused.

More charm than your entire friend group combined.

Is that a suit or a sad attempt at adulting?

Your vibe is about as lively as a dead plant.

Siu-ing on stage after another stat-farming season. Bottle job, no cap.

Flirting level: Winking like a goofball, 0/10.

You're trying to flex but all I see is a chicken.

You two are what happens when creativity dies.

Chill, even a meme would call you dramatic.

Bro, that tie is a crime against fashion.

Cowgirl out here trying to adult, but still can't find her WiFi.