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Archive

A working water fountain in Dodge is a myth like getting off a waitlist.

I'm Butler, stalking your study snacks.

Refusing to participate is a Columbia tradition at this point.

Realizing the WiFi is down: panic ensues.

That camel's smile is the only thing worse than your sense of humor.

Is this a romantic painting or a medieval thirst trap?

Rewrite: "I thought Columbia students were geniuses, but apparently, nobody here knows how to use the A/C."

Me dismissing Lion Fund coffee chats like they're beneath me

When you scream but no one cares, it’s just you.

me trudging to an 8:40am lecture on autopilot

Hamilton elevators dropping the plot faster than you drop late classes.

Using a broken umbrella? Must be prepping for a disaster date.

When your dog has a better social life than you do.

Sidechat posters when freshmen spread flu like it's their job

They look like a boy band that sings only about tax returns.

That painting's got more drama than your group chat at 3 AM.

When your outfit says yes but your vibe says no.

Trying to be profound but just confusing everyone.

When you think you're on stage, but it's just the coffee shop.

You dress like a Pinterest board threw up.

when the professor says participation is encouraged and means 20% of the grade

Me pretending I know what ‘festive spirit’ means.

Your idea of romance is just a ‘study session’ on repeat.

When you watch Lion Fund hopefuls lining up for coffee chats