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When you dress like a backup dancer but perform like a meme.

rent free in my head since the 90s

When Dodge gym smells like you just opened a Minion capsule!

The Hamilton elevator when you push 'up'.

POV: Your LinkedIn profile picture after reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People.'

Staring at my Butler seat like this chessboard.

chat this is what econ did to my expectations

Columbia students on Sidechat when freshmen refuse to wear masks

What’s funnier, your jokes or your dance moves?

When your boss says 'quick chat' but it's a career funeral.

When you realize their facial expressions match your WiFi signal: weak.

Sidechat posters when Butler turns into Grand Central

When you catch feelings but forget you can't catch a break.

Existentialism: we choose Taco Bell, then accept responsibility.

Students hyping the AEPi party like it's Coachella

When your crush finally notices you but only because you look like a giant peach.

Feeling blue? No worries—Miami can wait, we brought the storms.

Those Hamilton elevators when they feel as historic as Henry's wardrobe.

me trying to take a five-minute TikTok break and suddenly it's two hours later and I'm crying laughing at my screen

When you sell an AEPi ticket for double the price

When you call customer service and get put on hold.

Butler campers: claiming land like 1492.

That smile says, 'I'm still waiting for my coffee, and my therapy session.'

Trying to be the wise owl but more like a confused pigeon.