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me opening SSOL and finding every required class waitlisted camping outside Hamilton Hall

Midweek meeting with your boss, and you're the only one bringing puppy energy.

When the algorithm sends you back to 2006.

Man's got the vibe of a motivational poster with no motivation.

That ball’s about to escape harder than your last gym selfie!

John Jay quests: Need for Speed, but for quesadillas.

When your dog has a better social life than you.

Sorry, but your hair's the only thing climbing that tower.

Me when the ice cream truck saves my day for the 100th time

Me after the fifth Lion Fund coffee chat of the day

Jumping around like it found the last nugget.

He’s here to talk business but all I see is a dental appointment.

When you dress like a politician but got the charisma of a potato.

He scored and immediately auditioned to be a statue.

Looking like a walking highlighter at the wrong party.

When your cat's Instagram has more followers than you do.

Those stars are getting more action than you two ever will.

When your student loans don’t make you cry today.

When your waitlist status changes from 'pending' to 'enlightened'.

Hewitt's cuisine: extra on gag reflex.

Freshmen during the freshman flu trying to stay awake in class

This cat is living its best life; you're just living.

Philosophizing about snacks? Sounds like a deep dive into regret.

'Can I speak to the manager?' - Karen, 2023