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Me after the fifth Lion Fund coffee chat of the day

When JJ's sushi tastes fresher than your career prospects.

Millstein chairs gaining sentience, applying for their own Columbia core course.

That face when your crush is just a meme, not a reality.

When you try to be trendy but end up a fashion disaster.

Trying to catch wind like you catch feelings: hopeless.

John Jay dining hall: all judgment, zero actual nourishment.

When you invest in crypto, but it’s Monopoly money.

When a coworker asks what you do all day.

Just a pup watching dreams expensive as gold.

When you try to be cute but end up just quirky.

When you dress up for the gram but it's just for pets.

me seeing my dining hall total and panicking dramatically

Hair goals? More like hair fails, my dude.

When you're the only one who sees the red flags at the party.

Meow-sician, your career's as confused as your pose.

Me in Butler after hearing one more loud convo

Saint John presenting the cross like it's a JJ's quesadilla.

Finding oat milk at Liz's: the ultimate achievement unlocked

When you invest in crypto and it crashes.

me realizing Jae just caught someone running Valgrind during the AP exam

That robe's got more personality than your last date.

Obama: 'Surviving Congress was just like surviving a group chat.'

Those glasses are hiding your hangover, not your social life.