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You look like a highlighter threw up on a disco ball.

Exulting like Hamilton elevator saw its first repair.

Sleeping in Butler? Peak Columbia camping mid-finals.

When your serious face says 'I care' but your sleeves say 'help'!

Waitlisted for courses but not for midterms, life's fair.

Me pretending you're not a walking cringe compilation.

Waiting for a hot guy at Millstein when you're in sweats.

When the stock market is unpredictable, but you roll with it.

"Waiting for texts like Snoop waits for hits."

Looking like the penguin version of a TikTok cringe compilation.

Looking like the lead in a 'how to be a goof' tutorial.

When your squad's hotter than your mixtape.

Stars gossiping? They’re just trying to distract from you.

Me when the freshman flu hits like a truck

Trying to convince your boss you're 'working' like those penguins?

Ah, the Columbia fall: snowman or stacks of overdue books?

When you realize your bank account is as empty as Private's head.

Holding a water bottle like it's the last drop of my patience.

Emotional alignment: Strong – Reflects the character's introspection and sense of defeat.

This dog dressed better than you on your best day.

When you overcompensate for your Tinder profile pic.

You look like you're ready to explain politics to the plants.

When you realize Earth isn't flat, but buns are.

Why does your romance look like a dramatic reenactment of a meme?