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Dog: 1, Human: 0 - In the game of affection.

Stoic advice, packaged with reclining seats and mild judgment

Fundamentalist Christians: "Smiling? Must be praying in disguise."

You two look less like a couple and more like a therapy session gone wrong.

When you realize the stock market doesn't care about your vibes.

Bro, your smile is more fake than your personality.

When you dress like a snack but still get ignored.

Mid-celebration, realizing you have 5 minutes to class.

You look so ready to give advice, but I wouldn't take any from a guy who's also wearing polka dots.

Is that a dog or a runway model?

Boss: "Work on weekends." Me: "I don't even work weekdays."

When you realize the Earth isn’t flat, but you are.

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I once counted 17 tiles before realizing I couldn’t move my arms. That was the last time I challenged Carman punch.

Buddy, that jump is just you trying to escape social interaction.

Looking like it just survived a rave and forgot the afterparty.

When your fit is louder than your personality, and that’s saying something.

Me rushing to claim the last Dodge Stairmaster like it's life or death

Plot twist: this cat's plotting revenge on the dog.

That face when you realize no one invited you.

Winking like you got the cheat codes to life.

When you guard the forest from fake news.

Your life is like those cypress trees—trying to reach but still stuck on the ground.

That outfit screams 'I peaked in high school drama club'.