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me screaming because Butler study tables were already taken

Existentialism, gentled by bubbles and a smiling teal whale.

When you realize your dreams of campus trees look more like Butler lawns.

You two look like you’re debating whose mom makes the best mac and cheese.

Trying to flex wisdom but can't find the WiFi password.

When your colleague's ideas are as outdated as this wig.

Getting a minor in waitlists: Columbia's secret major.

When your sleeves have more personality than your jokes.

Trying to juggle bills like it's a talent show?

This village's architecture screams 'IKEA on a budget.'

When life gives you sun, but you still choose to loaf.

Columbia Core: It's not Stockholm Syndrome if you love it.

Carter's over here thinking deeply while you clowns pick a TikTok sound.

When your dog's outfit outshines your entire wardrobe.

When you're giving off CEO vibes but still rockin' that TikTok grind.

Smiling through family drama like it’s an audition for a bad sitcom.

Henry balancing power and bad shoes like Columbia's Core.

When your energy's higher than your WiFi signal, but it still drops.

You're cuter than my last breakup, and that's saying something.

That expression screams, 'I've seen some things, but not much of a personality.'

It's giving 'who pays for the coffee' vibes—just high-key awkward.

Why blend in when you can look like a walking filter?

Camus approves: this tiny absurdity demands a good rinse.

When your mom asks why you’re still single.