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Archive

When your oversized shirt is like, 'I’m just here for vibes.'

The Milstein Green Chairs know your life story now.

Flat-earther realizing globe-shaped cookies aren't a conspiracy.

Procrastinating Hamilton elevators: Yoda knows my pain.

When your dog’s beauty regime is more intense than yours.

When the Columbia ’26 GroupMe is just nail tech recs under $40 with same-day openings at 11:59

Wearing that coat should come with a warning label: 'may cause confusion.'

When you sit under the Milstein atrium and pretend to study.

this is exactly how my smile looks before office hours as a TA

When you're so pious, even your halo needs a break.

More dedication than Butler campers at 3 a.m.

Working Wi-Fi is a myth like Elective Class Availability.

Arthur's smile when you say 'Let's circle back.'

Talking fish recipes? Honey, that's just your social life flopping.

coping so hard just because capitalism said unemployed

When you’re nodding off in a meeting but look like a wise sage.

When your fashion sense is more basic than holiday cookies.

That flat cap screams 'I’m here for the free treats.'

me paying $7 for Joe Coffee and immediately unimpressed

When you sell an AEPi ticket for double the price

When you realize your dog has more followers than you.

When you dress like a billionaire but your bank account says 'dollar menu'.

They're competing for the 'most awkward family dinner' award.

Columbia academic waitlists: destiny's version of dodgeball.