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Discovering a working water fountain in Butler is a miracle.

pausing the ring clip like they’re stealing my takeout until the delivery photo pose

This cat’s napping game is stronger than my Wi-Fi.

Wishing for dance moves but your living room is the stage.

Squidward cooks: "I can’t even make ramen without burning it.

This dog at the bar is Columbia's water fountains: always half empty.

When you remember you left the stove on halfway to work.

When your outfit screams louder than your last breakup.

That grin is just masking the pain of your last bad haircut.

You're not a performer; your sleeves are the main act!

When the Butler guard sees you bringing outside food.

When the dorm resident rants about laundry hogs, they leave clothes in the washer

Claiming that last pizza slice like it's a medal of honor.

I snagged EC in the housing lottery, unapologetically smug

This pup's more charming than your last few crushes combined.

Millstein green chair: Barnard's traffic jam.

Boba duo roasting me harder than a Barnard Big Sub.

Your enthusiasm is rivaled only by my Monday blues.

These guys have all the charisma of a wet sock.

fitness influencers will literally say ‘just mew the sadness away’

George W. Bush is the king of 'Oops, my bad' moments.

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That dad shirt really said 'I’m too cool for school.'

That yawn screams, 'I peaked too early.'