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Archive

Seniors when the freshman flu hits for the 5th time

Dressing like a gentleman but acting like a couch potato.

Sitting on Milstein green chairs, GPAs go sky high.

When the only thing you dunk is cookies.

Your enthusiasm's like a bad TikTok trend—just not hitting right.

That smile hides more secrets than my DMs at 3 AM.

That bow tie says 'trying too hard' energy.

When you realize they all have a 'bad dad joke' playlist.

Star-studded like a Hamilton elevator, always going down on grades.

Me smugly waiting for the stairmaster at Columbia.

When you find out your favorite snack is discontinued.

when my only emotion left is urge to tattle stronger than sleep

When you hear ‘unlimited breadsticks’ at Olive Garden.

me waking up in Carman like: why is the ceiling spinning and why do I smell like tequila?

When you tell your crush you're a '90s icon.

This pug’s glasses? Iconic. Your style? Tragic.

That goose is living for the drama like a TikTok influencer.

Dressed like a CEO but can't pay rent.

When your boss asks for 'more creativity' and you give them this.

Trying harder than you on a Monday morning.

Living your best life, but still single as a Pringle.

Bro, if that’s a ghost, I’m out.

me leaving a dramatic pile to save a Butler spot — peak goblin energy

When the only thing you own is your cat’s judgement.