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Trying to cook a gourmet meal but it's just ramen again.

When I leave my jacket on a Butler chair I act like I conquered campus

The only superhero that saves no one.

Her gown looks like a fancy tablecloth from IKEA.

When your vibe is 'I hate this but here you go.'

Coming to Columbia for hot guys, then seeing Minion Lisa.

When you realize your pet has better selfies than you.

Trying to escape NSOP friends like a beetle out of bed.

Trying to convince us you're the next Broadway star, but nah.

A broken umbrella? You really went all out, didn’t you?

When you wake up and realize Monday is a vibe killer, too.

When your vibes say 'majestic' but your face says 'nap time.'

When you realize the stock market isn't a game.

That outfit screams 'I lost a bet'... and your dignity.

When you work overtime just to afford rent.

When your ‘wisdom’ is just Googling Bible verses.

Millstein chairs: Barnard royalty shooing off invaders.

This goat's outfit screams 'I tried, but...'.

Laughing like he just read his Rotten Tomatoes score

When you score but the trophy is just for participation.

You look like you're judging my life choices from that ledge.

Glass Slipper is that one crypto everyone forgets.

Chugging hydration like I'm cramming the whole Core Curriculum.

That mic’s gotta be thinking, 'I’ve seen better days.'